So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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