it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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