Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
