don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
