im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
