That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
