Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
