I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
