Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize