We're like a lot better than the average bears
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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