i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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