Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
