I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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