if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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