smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize