I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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