She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
