Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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