her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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