So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize