Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Randomize