Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
