Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
