YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize