I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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