I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
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If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
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You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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