So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
