Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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