Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
