Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
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It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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