I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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