worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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