Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
