belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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