I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Randomize
