Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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