You can't motorboat a personality
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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