I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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