Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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