they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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