Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
