My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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