Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
