so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
