Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
