I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
