I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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