Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
