I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
