So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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