i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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