It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
