Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
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