Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
