Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
