all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
