I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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