the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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