Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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