I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
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#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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