I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
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These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
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Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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