Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The air taste purple.
Randomize