The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize