But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
tell your sister to shave her snatch
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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