Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
