You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I DEMAND FORESKIN
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
