have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
